As I write this blog it is 12.30am on Friday 1st October, in 7 and a half hours I will be having my operation to remove my kidney and have it placed into an unknown recipient, I will be honest with you I can't sleep, not because of the worry or any fear but because they have placed me in a ward with 5 other men!!
Now I don't know these men but let me tell you I have never met such a bunch of misfits in my life, I'm not a nasty person but when I'm tired I can get pretty much fucked off very easily!!
Let me explain, opposite me is a youngish lad (I say youngish cos he looks so weird I could never guess his age) he is on dialysis, I know because he let everyone know he was going for it by shouting across the ward, he sounds like one of the chipmunks from the cartoons when he talks, and he eats Haribo sweets like they are going out of fashion, not a problem I hear you say? Well, he eats with his mouth open and the noises are unbelievable, I thought a dripping tap was annoying!!
Across the ward and to the left of chipmunk man is a big burly black man, who stares continuously at me, now I'm not paranoid but I feel a tad nervous that this guy is going to do something vicious to me in my sleep (I watch too many horror films lol) but I am going to sleep with 1 eye open, not only that but he feels the need to laugh out very loudly at the tv and slap his belly!! Wtf is that all about?? am i on the loony ward?
At the side of him is Mr sleepy who believe me would sleep through a hurricane and he's on no medication (I've asked) so nothing much I can say about him.
Opposite him on my side of the ward is Mr angry, he's not happy that the Dr has taken him off oxygen (god knows what we are breathing) but he caused a right fuss over it, seems to be breathing ok now I can hear him snoring!!
Then last but far from least, in the very next bed to me is Mr "I've had too much caffeine fidget pants!!" Up and down, up and down all fricking night, now he wants to count his money on the bedside table!! Go to f***ing sleep you nut job!! Now to be fare to the old gent I do think he has senile problems, either that or he has taken a liking to wandering to other peoples beds cos he forgets where his own is, the nurses keep bringing him back...why?????
Then there's me, laid here in calvin Klein pyjama bottoms and a vest, designer perfume and Dolly Parton on the ipod, all topped off with sexy black surgical stockings on, how cool do I feel haha.
All in all the nights going to be a long one, its seems at the minute that there's a farting competition going on, remind me again why I'm doing this?!?
This will be my last blog before I have the operation so Goodnight for now and please take all of the above in the humour that its meant.
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